I currently live in New York City, which is, yeah, you know, it’s there. I’ve been living in New York about six years now. And when I first moved there, I had a huge fear I was going to get mugged constantly, like every time I left the house, I was like, here it comes, someone is going to take everything.
I got over my fear, because I learned a trick and now I use this trick all the time. Whenever I think someone might try to beat me up and mug me, I fake a Russian accent. You’re welcome, it’s genius. I will be walking home late at night, two dangerous looking folks walk up to me like: “Yo man, you know, what neighborhood you’re in!”
[Russians accent]: “You think this is bad neighborhood.”
Russians are the scariest white people, they’ve earned it. I’m so scared of them that I guarantee if I was lost, dangerously lost. There is no way I’d ask a Russian for directions. Just real quick like sir, help me, please help me, how do I get to this subway?
[Russians accent]: “The subway, walk down street and turn corner.”
Screw that, I think I’m just going to stay lost.
Thank you guys very much. You guys…